Random Stuff

So, a few things happened yesterday. I also learned a few things too. Where to start?

I attended a support group last night. Let me clarify. Almost four weeks ago now I attended the first support group I had in 2 1/2 years and the first PASG group in three. In the little town of Blanding, there is no PASG. All they have are a couple of General Addiction Support Groups. Four weeks ago, I learned there is a call-in group I could attend. It is based out of Snowflake, Arizona and makes use of a service called Meeting Place to allow people like me, who are so far from anywhere, to attend something they would not otherwise be able to do. It was great.

Well, in the three weeks since then, as I tried to attend, it hasn't worked. I have been unable to call in. It was a bummer. As such, I have decided to avoid the local general groups and the call-in PASG group is a bonus. And groups is not a mistype. There are two here, one Tuesday and one Thursday and I have decided to strive for both. I do realize that things will come up and that I won't always get to attend both, but I will try.

Secondly, I am going to my first professional counseling session today. I got a hold of the therapist yesterday, which was much easier than I could have been, since they work at the same clinic I do, and setup an appointment for today. Talk about a hard email. I definitely have some anxiety, but take comfort in the hope that it will be a good thing. The only possible problem is that it is the same therapist my wife is going to (as of last week), so we hope there will be no conflict of interests. If there is, I can always go to a different one. Time will tell.

Thirdly, I didn't have to sleep on the couch last night. My wife felt safe enough that I could sleep next to her. This is the first time since my relapse on Saturday night (which I will also address shortly). It was great to know that, at least last night, there was enough trust for that to happen. We shall see how things go in the future and if I mess them up again, but last night was better than they have been for the last few days.

Fourthly, I learned that what happened Saturday night was a slip up, not a relapse. I am still learning the terms, but last night as my wife and I were talking about what she has learned in her recovery, she read some stuff from the Healing Through Christ manual. It talked about a slip up being a mistake that was immediately followed by a return to recovery, whereas a relapse is an abandonment of recovery and returning to previous behaviors. So, I guess I need to not refer to it as a relapse. Not to minimize what I did, but to define it so that both others and I can understand what is going on better.

Anyway, I feel better today than I did yesterday morning. I hope that trend continues.

~Sean~