To begin with, we went over my history (briefly), then we started talking about what counseling was for (giving me skills) and what addiction is. We talked about it no being a bad habit, but a sickness. Brain damage. Whenever I think of that, I think of Bill Cosby, but I digress. We also talked about emotions and the expressing of them and how I am a volcano waiting to explode, if I don't.
Overall, the session was great. Of course, as I expected, I got homework. Three things.
- Find a sponsor
- Develop a Relapse Protection Plan
- Journal my feelings
The first one is going to be hard. I would like to get one who has dealt with sexual addiction. My therapist also said that would be useful. The problem is that I have only begun attending an addiction support group again, and it is a General Addiction Support Group at that. I am the only one there that is a sexual addict. I have not yet gone to the one I plan to attend on Tuesday nights, but I would guess it would be the same way there. So, I am going to have to use other sources. This is one of those. If anybody has any ideas, please comment below, or you can email me at ishmobile at gmail dot com.
The second one is one that I had not heard of before. Maybe you have, but here are the main elements she said need to be in there. First, it needs to include how I will voice the slip-up/relapse. Second, it needs to say what I need from my support person (my wife, my sponsor or my therapist). Third, it needs to talk about how we (my support person and I) will go about learning from the experience. I need to make three, one for my wife, one for my therapist and one for my sponsor. We are going to work on the last two next Friday, but I need to get the one done for my wife and start on the one for my therapist.
The third one seems to me like it is going to be the easiest of the three, but I may find that it is not. I am not very good at journaling in general and am not very good at writing my feelings, but we'll see. She did say I could use this blog for that, if I want, but I do not know if that is as useful, as this isn't something I can write in all the time. I will have to think about it a little more, but I think it is going to be a paper journal.
Anyway, it wasn't near as scary as I thought. Of course, I am realizing that I suffer from a lot more anxiety than I originally thought. Fear of the unknown is the worst and this falls under that category.
you are a good writer. Keep it up. :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are doing great!
If you are looking for a sponsor you can go to arpsupport.org I am also a recovering sex addict and have found a sponsor through this website. They have a 90 day program that involves the church's ARP 12 step program but also includes a lot of insights and understandings from SA(things that the church's program is still developing in its infancy). I also have a blog and am just starting because I used to hate to write but am finally getting into it. addicttoangel.blogspot.com. also the 90 day program can kill two birds with one stone(#'s 1 and 3) because you have to do step work every morning but also send a brief journal entry to your sponsor every night.
ReplyDeleteyeah get a sponsor for sure. I found mine through the SA meetings I attend. Every state has them. Finding a good LDS one is tricky if you are not in Utah but honestly, my first sponsor last year was not LDS and was awesome. The principles are principles. And the journal writing is helpful. i keep a small notebook near me in my office as well. I write out triggers or emotions when I can. When I write daily and often, I can stay sober. We lose the battle on the emotional level, we lose the actual battle. (at least for me) Keep it up. Just remember, simply going to meetings or counseling does NOT keep us sober. Working a program of recovery with the power of God keeps us sober. (but I guess 'bringing the body' is certainly part of that).
ReplyDeleteI used to 'brag' to people that i'm 'working recovery' bc I spend so much of my precious money on counseling and spend countless, sacrificed hours on recovery meetings. But then I don't apply the stuff and act on....that isn't recovery to me! (again, all my opinions...)