A REAL Addiction

When attendance at a recovery meeting is possible, you will find it helpful for at least two reasons. First, at these meetings you will study specific gospel principles that, when applied, will help you change your behavior. President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve taught: “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1986, 20; or Ensign, Nov. 1986, 17). Second, these meetings are a place to gather with others seeking recovery and with those who have already taken this path and are living proof of its effectiveness. In recovery meetings you will find understanding, hope, and support. - Addiction Recovery Program

So, group huh. I have definitely been having different opinions about this. I have attended group in the past. Actually, before we moved, two and a half years ago, both my wife and I were attending group. Both because of my addiction. It was a great experience, because I could be there with others who suffered from pornography and masturbation addictions. That is where I was first introduced to the 12 step process and, for the most part, I even enjoyed going. Maybe because it was a place I didn't have to hide my weakness. On top of that, it was a place that gave me the strength I need to soldier on. I made some friends there as well. Not that we were ever bosom buddies, but friends nonetheless. My wife made some friends too, which was even more important for her, so she knew she wasn't alone.

Then we moved, and there is no longer such a group locally. I have to be specific. There is no sexual addiction recovery group. There is one for general addictions and I attended that for a while, when we first got here. It was still good to go over the doctrines associated with recovery, but it just wasn't the same. I felt different. With possibly one exception I can think of, the others were there for substance addiction: alcohol, tobacco and drugs. Now, I knew that my addiction was a true addiction and just as bad as any of theirs, but I felt like they would not see it that way. I was sure they would just wonder why I was even there. Thus, "Hi I am Sean, and I am a pornography and masturbation addict..." turned into "Hi, I am Sean, and I am an addict..." I was no longer the same as the others, so there just was not the same amount of support as there had been in the previous group.

After a while, I stopped going. Great idea! Now, I contemplate going back, but do not look forward to that outcast feeling that comes with having a very different drug of choice.

Would it be good for me? I'm sure that it would. Would it take up time in my week? Yes, but recovery takes time. It is the time that I need to put in to make it work. Am I ready? I don't know. I know that my wife wants me to be. She wants me to progress on the recovery and I am going to have a hard time doing so without the group support, but I still hesitate. I wish, they would put in a class specifically for sexual addictions. I know, that I am not the only person in this town (and surrounding area) of 4,000 that needs it. They also need to put in a spousal support group, because I know that my eternal companion needs it. I am sure others do too.

~ Sean ~