Trapped

I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh. - 2 Nephi 4:18–21

Today is answers to some writing prompts, found at the end of the first chapter.

Do you feel encompassed or trapped? When do you feel this way most often?
I do sometimes. My wife and I were talking about the recovery journey last night and there is a long, hard road ahead of us. A long road, in order to overcome our weaknesses and heal. I wish that it could all just go away. Wouldn't it be nice to erase 8 years of pain. Instead, we get to learn and grow. But what a way to do it! I am going to be facing lifestyle changes for the rest of my life. That's depressing.

I feel trapped most often when I think about how long the road has been and how much longer there still is to go. I started when I was 12 years old, eighteen years ago. Now, I have many years ahead, possibly my whole life, as I seek to overcome the habits that were developed and the rewiring that happened in my brain over that time. In the meantime, I am only able to move forward slowly. I guess, the important part is she direction I am moving, not how fast.

What situations or feelings weakened you so you gave in to your addiction?
Stress makes it hard for me. Boredom. Solitude. Those seem to be the big ones. In times of stress, when alone and bored is the worst time. If I can avoid multiple of these, especially all at once, things will be much better. Now, there are going to be times when I can't and I will have to ensure that I am ready for those times

When Nephi felt overwhelmed, in whom did he place his trust? What can you do to place more trust in the Lord?
The Lord, his God. I need to listen for and heed the early warning signs. God always tries to warn me off before it happens. When I fail, it is because I ignore that prompting and tell myself that I can do it on my own. If I am more attentive to the Spirit's promptings, I can overcome it. I often think that just one image won't hurt, or just a bikini picture. Once I start though, I have a harder time listening to the Spirit than I did before. If I didn't the first time, I won't the second.

If I can learn to listen to the warnings and trust in the Lord early, then I will be stopping when it is easier to do so. I cannot stop later, so early is when I nee to.