So, at the get go. I wrote this post once, but due to the wonders of technology, I lost it. Now, I am sitting down to answer the questions again. There is no way I can promise the answers will come out the same and I have no way of knowing which will be the more truthful ones, or the more thoughtful ones. Let's see what comes out though.
Did your parents talk to you about sex? Did you feel you could ask them questions? Write about your communication with your parents about sex.
No. I think they wanted sex to be an open topic in their home, but I never felt that it was. It was always an embarrassing subject. Truthfully, that might have been on my side, not theirs. I think the times it came up, other than "the talk" was in jokes or at least light-hearted. My wife feels like it is talked about a lot more in my family than hers, but I don't know as it was really any more of a healthy attitude toward the subject.
I probably could have asked them questions, but I did not feel comfortable doing so. I remember one time I came in the room and my older sister and my parents were talking (I was probably in 8th or 9th grade at the time). They mentioned something about "rubbers", when they had been talking about rubber bands, that was funny. At least, they all laughed. I laughed along. My dad then asked if I knew what a rubber was and answered in the affirmative, thinking of rubber bands. When he asked me what it was, I realized I didn't know and their attitudes made me very embarrassed about not knowing. I don't remember what I said, but I didn't learn that they were referencing condoms that night. I actually didn't learn until years later, when I heard the term in the media (probably a movie) and realized what it referenced. Because of the embarrassment associated, that incident is still burned into my memory though.
Overall, I don't remember learning much healthy information about sex at home. Oh, it is talked about now. Now that all of the kids are grown, but not during our developing years.
If you could picture your Heavenly Parents sitting down with you to tell you about sex, how do you imagine it? Write down some of the things you think they might say.
I am sure thy would explain the mechanics, something I also didn't understand well until marriage - or at least courtship. We were given Between a Husband and Wife, which encourages healthy conversation about sex and intimacy. That is when I learned more than the basic gist of the mechanics. I think I would come away from the heavenly conversation with a much better understanding of the raw physical side of things than I ever did from my 6th grade school presentation with my parents.
More importantly, I think they would explain how wonderful it is and how much it can bond two people together, but also how much it can hurt, when used wrongly. It is one of the most amazing and powerful binding tools there is in a marriage. However, if used wrong, such as outside a marriage covenant, it is destructive and debasing.
I think they would also warn me that (especially for me) it can be very addicting. The high associated with it is so accessible, because no chemicals are needed, other than what the body naturally produces. They would warn me that it is the forefront of Satan's battle to destroy their children. Satan is doing everything he can to use sex to destroy the children of God. He gives them false understandings about it left and right, so many of them contradicting others (sex is evil, sex is good - no matter what kind), that the whole world is at least partially confused.
They would also stress how serious the breaking of the law of chastity is. In the gospel, we know it is the third greatest sin. That is pretty big; however, the world teaches that it is no big deal, or even that the law of chastity doesn't apply today. It is an antiquated idea.
I would also learn that sex is not dirty. Just because it is something private, that is only to be used within the bonds of marriage, between a husband and a wife, does not make it a filthy practice. Instead, it is something beautiful, pure and clean, when used correctly. As such, there should be no shame in it.
Write about what you would like to get out of this book. What understanding would you like to gain? What changes in your life would you like to see happen?
I would like this book to be a supplement to the Addiction Recovery Program and any other resources I find on the subject. I would like to see how a man applied the 12 Step Program to the same addiction I face. I want to more fully understand the principles associated with it and be able to apply those in my life, so that I can go through my recovery effectively. I want to overcome my addiction to sex and replace that with a healthy view. I know that overcoming does not mean it will go away. It does mean, that over time, my brain can be rewired to associate the right things with this wonderful, beautiful gift and power we have been given.
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